So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
