im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
