I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
