My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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