Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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