You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
