ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
