is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize