My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
