Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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