I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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