Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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