uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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