Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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