We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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