i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
