it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
