There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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