Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he fucked my hip out of place.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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