Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
