totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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