i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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