i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
