Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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