think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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