Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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