Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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