she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
