I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
