I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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