They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
