i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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