Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize