dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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