She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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