ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
