You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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