I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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