Don't you send me to vm
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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