I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
