Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
