What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we made out on top of his cat.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There r osticjed everywhere
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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