Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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