so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
