dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
smell my finger.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Randomize
