the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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