I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize