When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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