apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dignity is for republicans.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
