Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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