im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
