If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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