Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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