I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
