1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
