Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
