new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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