i can't believe i had my finger in that
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
