Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
