Dual....:-)
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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