he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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