What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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