u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
