i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Edward fifth and chaser hands
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
