why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize